Ron Haramia's Bottom Five 10-10-02
Commentary
By Ron Haramia
COLLEGE FOOTBALL
236. Texas A&M; (3-2)
237. UTEP (1-5)
238. Buffalo (1-5)
239. US Defense (3-20)
240. Tie: Florida Atlantic (0-5) and Middle Tennessee State (0-5)
�The 23rd-ranked Aggies led by 18 points at one point in last week�s game and the QB threw for a Big 12 record seven TDs. So naturally, they lost, 48-47 to Texas Tech. Aggie officials are considering a protest over an extra-point kick that was blocked by a chair thrown by someone from Texas Tech named Bobby.
�The University of Texas at El too-many-completed Pasos, de-spite their QB�s having an outstanding day, lost another. It seems that in all of the excitement of completing 19-of-24 passes, the UTEP quarterbacks completed two more, this time to New Mexico State defensive backs, one of which was returned for a touchdown leading to a 49-14 loss.
��Punt� is a four-letter word you don�t want to use around the city of Buffalo. U of B�s football team gave up a 64-yd TD on a punt return, gave up a 50-yarder that set up another TD, had one punt blocked and fumbled away a punt return. Giving up 14 points in one minute did not help either in their 31-17 loss to Western Michigan.
�Army (0-5) lost 59-24, Navy
(1-4) lost 48-7, The Citadel (1-4) lost 34-30, Coast Guard (1-3) lost 24-17 and Maine Maritime (0-4) lost 48-0. Not a good week for our men in football uniforms.
�Florida Atlantic lost to Nicholls State 33-22. They claimed their East Coast offense was not working.
�Middle Tennessee State lost to Arkansas State 13-7. They claimed their Middle Coast offense was not working.
NOTE: The Akron Zips (now 0-6) are taking this week off from the Bottom Five. They will resume regular programming next week.
PRO FOOTBALL
28. New England Patty Cakes (3-2)
29. Champaign Bears (winless at Soldier Field)
30. Bye week (0-0)
31. St. Lose Rams (0-5)
32. Cincinnati Bungles (0-5)
�The Patty Cakes have now lost two in a row after winning the AFC title, the Super Bowl and their first three games of this season. This time it was to the Miami Dolphins 26-13. That makes them 0-13 lifetime in Miami in September and Oc-tober. Here is another compelling stat:
They are 0-1,000,000 when losing at the end of the fourth quarter.
�After winning their first two, the Bears have now lost three in a row. If they are going to play at a college field, they should go all out - have a pep rally, invite the ESPN guys, schedule the game against a college team (How about Akron? They are close by).
�Neither the Lions (1-3), Texans (1-3), Seahawks (1-3), nor Vikings (0-4) gave up a point during their bye week. (Bye week is short for �Say good-bye to the playoffs even though it is only the first week of October�.)
�With Kurt Warner out and Jamie Martin in at QB, the Rams lost to the 49ers 37-13. Martin is not our Pilot News photographer with the same name, although she probably could have done just as well as Warner�s backup. Carrying a camera around may slow her down a bit.
�The final score of the Bungles-Colts game (28-21) was a little deceiving. It was 21-0 in the 2nd quarter before the Colts put the JVs in.
But listening to some of the quotes attributed to Bungles players, you can see part of the reason why they are where they are: running back Corey Dillon - �This gives us something to build on� (what? another loss?); QB Jon Kitna - �I just hope today gave some guys a little bit of hope� (yeah Jon, it gave the whole league the hope that they will get to play the Bungles!)
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