Sadly, however, preparing for holiday celebrations can cause even the most zen of us to tap into our inner perfectionist � you know, the demanding one with unrealistic expectations, timelines and a voice that sounds startlingly like blue-haired, white-gloved Auntie Irma. But that doesn't mean you have to listen to everything she says.

Set your own expectations
Take some time to reflect on which of your hosting expectations you have inherited from your anxiety-ridden ancestors. Take the best ideas of others, but don't feel guilty about tossing those that don't fit your lifestyle or preferences. Hold on to a couple of favorite family traditions while creating a few of your own.

Prepare � and pare
You've made the list of everything you absolutely must do for your holiday celebration; in fact, you've checked it twice.
The third time around, get real. Divide your to-do list into three categories: "Things I Absolutely Must Do," "Things I'd Like to Do" and "Things I Really Don't Need to Do." Cut off the "Things I Really Don't Need to Do" section and rip it into tiny little pieces. Burn it! Throw it in the trash!

Congratulations! You've cut your workload by at least one-third. Now complete the items on your "Things I Absolutely Must Do" list; if you have time, work through your "Things I'd Like to Do" list.

Ask for help
Eliminate even more tasks on your to-do list by asking some of your guests to contribute their favorite dishes to your dinner or to bring their favorite holiday decorations to display. People often are happy to share a special recipe or treasured memory.
Don't forget about your friends at the local grocery store. Prepared dishes can lighten your workload for all holiday meals, not just for parties.

"You can't do everything, and that's OK," says Borz Zolali, owner of Happy Herman's, an Atlanta, Ga.-based specialty store. Zolali says that his own store has been transformed to meet the demands of busy young professionals, who are spending more time in their offices and cars than in their kitchens.

Happy Herman's, founded as a regular grocery store in 1948, has seen a decrease in the desire for hot, precooked dishes and an increase in requests for complete, preprepared meals that need only be reheated at home.

People are not likely to complain � or even notice � that not every dish on your table is made from scratch. Just throw a few favorite family foods into the mix � ones that truly would be missed if absent � and you'll make everyone happy, including yourself.

Make child's play of work
Don't overlook the budding chef or pint-sized Picasso in your home. Make sure the kids in your life have a hand in your holiday preparations. They'll help you keep your focus on the true meaning of the holidays.

Preparing holiday foods together builds a tradition, strengthening bonds and creating opportunities for greater communication. Kids can start out performing small tasks, such as dumping ingredients and stirring. As their skills increase, they can move up to trying simple recipes themselves.

Build up the excitement of the holidays by commissioning children to produce some holiday artwork a couple of weeks before your event.

Provide your coterie of mini-Monets with sheets of construction paper and pots of poster paint. Instruct them to create something that expresses what they are most thankful for during Thanksgiving, or something that illustrates what Christmas or Hanukkah means to them. Laminate the resulting artwork for perfect holiday placemats.

Who knows? Your dinner guests may be so busy admiring the artwork and the cookies, they'll never notice the dust bunnies under the table.